They shield your feet, make you feel real neat
They cushion your shoes, take away the blues
With some buttons and thread, you can give them both heads
Need a holder for your phone? It’s already sewn
If you need to drain rice, a sock will suffice
Having grapes for lunch? A sock can carry a bunch
Put one on each ear, winter holds no fear
Absorb your tears when you weep, as you go to sleep
I kind of hoped when I wrapped up My Chemical Toilet that public relations folk might, you know, notice. A bit. And sort of, er, remove me from their mailing lists. A lot. However, despite my final post explaining fairly clearly that it was over, I still get lots (and lots) of emails from people promoting acts.
It’s almost as if nobody every really read my blog!!!!!! Of course, that’s not at all possible. I’m sure they’ve just been busy lately. These past five months.
Anyway, I thought I’d say goodbye to all my ever-enthusiastic PR pals by writing them a nice little poem and sending it to them in response to their communications.
Dear [person with an act to promote],
Thanks for sending me your excitable note.
I’m sure [your act’s name] are going to be massive,
And I’m sorry to come over a tad impassive,
But a cursory look at my site’s front page
Will show I’ve retired, due to old age.
So I’d be awfully grateful if you could curtail
Filling my inbox with zillions of emails,
Because my Gmail’s almost full to the brim,
And every day it looks more and more grim.
The addresses in question are below just in case,
So please remove them from your database.