Category: Things I’ve Written For My Chemical Toilet (Page 1 of 126)

Snoop Dogg blithely drowns women, likes noodles

noodle snoop Snoop Dogg blithely drowns women, likes noodles

That little snapshot up there is from Snoop Dogg’s new video, “Gangster Love” “Gangsta Luv”. It’s an odd moment – amongst all the usual lady-based booty-quaking and gyrationalisms, there’s Snoop in the back seat of his whip having noodles chopsticked into his mouth by an Asian “lovely”.

I suppose after a few years in the game you probably run out of ways to humourously objectify women, so it’s heartening to see Snoop and his video director switching things up a bit.

Kudos also for the moment when, while zipping along in a speedboat with another buttock-flaunting entourage, Snoop smacks two ladies on their badonkadonks – and knocks them overboard. Nary a raised eyebrow from Mr. Dogg, of course, despite said ladies’ almost certainly not living to shake their bumcakes again.

Snoop Dogg – Gangsta Luv on MUZU.

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Hey, guess what? Fever Ray’s new video is really quite unsettling

As revelations go, the above is about as surprising as waking up in the morning. But Karin Dreijer deserves credit for not giving up on that whole “I’m going to spook the bollocks out of you” vibe she’s been mining for a while, even if she is tipping over into self-parody.

Not that you’ll be thinking in such an analytical fashion when you see her with a big “V” on her face for no particular reason in the vid for “Stranger Than Kindness”. Nay, you’ll be doing your darndest not to shityapants.

Merry Halloween, everyone!*

*I know it’s not Halloween for a couple of days yet, but the chances of me getting time to post again before Saturday are, how you say, “slim to fuck-all”.

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Can You Gig It?: The London Punks, Band of Skulls @ London Wimbledon Watershed, 16.10.09

band of skulls Can You Gig It?: The London Punks, Band of Skulls @ London Wimbledon Watershed, 16.10.09


John-Scott Croly skipped along to Wimbledon’s Watershed to see Band Of Skulls (above) support some people called The London Punks t’other day week.

Hotly-tipped Southampton blues-rockers Band of Skulls were this show’s not-so-secret support act, squeezing in a quick one on their way back home for a well-earned weekend off. They blew the sweaty roof off the Watershed’s dank back room – not that any of the 20 or so glass-eyed punters noticed.

Without their own following, the trio had to make do with the headliners’ early crowd – a smattering of arm-folders and phone-fiddlers who steadfastly refused to be won over, seemingly out of some kind of fierce-yet-misguided loyalty to The London Punks.

To add insult to injury, I managed to piss off drummer Matt when we spoke briefly outside. Turned out he wasn’t too happy with my drunken admission to illegally downloading their album. Oops. All in all, a shit night for Band of Skulls – a shame really, because they were fucking splendid.

Around twenty minutes later the chin-strokers finally got what they wanted when unfortunately-monikered electro-skankers The London Punks ambled on to the stage. The (by now much denser) crowd were off their chops right from the get-go, but this time it was my turn to be nonplussed.

XFM-friendly debut single “Pretty Girl” was by far the best tune on the night, rattling along like The Faint’s contribution to a Madness remix album that (thankfully) exists only in my own twisted imagination. Other tracks showed promise but lacked substance; an impressively massive sound not quite masking the below-par tunes underneath.

The London Punks are busy talking up their big name connections – singer Nathan has previously released records on Basement Jaxx’s label Atlantic Jaxx, while guitarist Greg Wizard has worked with The Chemical Brothers and MIA. P’raps then it’s time to call in a few favours, because given a bit of help with some good old fashioned songwriting, these cats might just have their fifteen minutes yet.

Listen to Band Of Skulls at We7.com

Listen to The London Punks at We7.com

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Can You Gig It?: The London Punks, Band of Skulls @ London Wimbledon Watershed, 16.10.09

band of skulls Can You Gig It?: The London Punks, Band of Skulls @ London Wimbledon Watershed, 16.10.09


John-Scott Croly skipped along to Wimbledon’s Watershed to see Band Of Skulls (above) support some people called The London Punks t’other day week.

Hotly-tipped Southampton blues-rockers Band of Skulls were this show’s not-so-secret support act, squeezing in a quick one on their way back home for a well-earned weekend off. They blew the sweaty roof off the Watershed’s dank back room – not that any of the 20 or so glass-eyed punters noticed.

Without their own following, the trio had to make do with the headliners’ early crowd – a smattering of arm-folders and phone-fiddlers who steadfastly refused to be won over, seemingly out of some kind of fierce-yet-misguided loyalty to The London Punks.

To add insult to injury, I managed to piss off drummer Matt when we spoke briefly outside. Turned out he wasn’t too happy with my drunken admission to illegally downloading their album. Oops. All in all, a shit night for Band of Skulls – a shame really, because they were fucking splendid.

Around twenty minutes later the chin-strokers finally got what they wanted when unfortunately-monikered electro-skankers The London Punks ambled on to the stage. The (by now much denser) crowd were off their chops right from the get-go, but this time it was my turn to be nonplussed.

XFM-friendly debut single “Pretty Girl” was by far the best tune on the night, rattling along like The Faint’s contribution to a Madness remix album that (thankfully) exists only in my own twisted imagination. Other tracks showed promise but lacked substance; an impressively massive sound not quite masking the below-par tunes underneath.

The London Punks are busy talking up their big name connections – singer Nathan has previously released records on Basement Jaxx’s label Atlantic Jaxx, while guitarist Greg Wizard has worked with The Chemical Brothers and MIA. P’raps then it’s time to call in a few favours, because given a bit of help with some good old fashioned songwriting, these cats might just have their fifteen minutes yet.

Listen to Band Of Skulls at We7.com

Listen to The London Punks at We7.com

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The evolution of Digga/McLean’s “Broken”

mclean The evolution of Digga/McLeans BrokenI’m not one for R&B ballads, really. They tend to be syrupy and over-emotive, which is obviously a generalisation but, you know, given the choice between a ballad and a club “banger” it’s the bangful one that wins me over 85% of the time.

However, like the very best pop songs, Brit soul type McLean’s “Broken” manages to transcend the genre with which it would be most closely associated. It’s a heartbroken, overwrought fist-clencher which, in a landscape of overproduced, autotuned pop spaff with half an eye on ringtone sales, actually makes you believe the singer is properly, hair-tearingly lovewrecked. Marvellous.

It also has a very interesting history, having first surfaced way back in 2006, when McLean went by the name of Digga (since changed because an American artist went by the same name). Unbeknownst to me, it became an online sensation, racking up millions of plays on YouTube and prompting, seemingly, everyone with a webcam to produce their own version.

The earliest versions of the song I can find are from 2007 – this one alone has over 2.8 millions plays at the time of writing:

Which isn’t bad for a song that has never actually been released. Apparently it was all over urban and pirate radio stations, and I think I read somewhere that it even got play on New York station Hot 97.

The real mark of success in the noughties, however, is how many deep n’ meaningful slideshows a song can soundtrack on video-sharing sites. “Broken” soundtracks bucketloads of the things. Here’s one featuring tears, blood-stained roses and Cupid shot dead by an arrow in the back:

While it’s reasonable to assume the song is about a guy getting dumped by his missus, listen carefully and you’ll hear a lyric that sounds suspiciously like “every day I wish it had been me that had died,” implying that he’s angry with his other half for popping her clogs. Which lends the song a whole other “level”.

Plus, if you scroll through the comments under the various versions on YouTube – not an activity you’d normally dream of undertaking, I know – you might encounter the odd claim that this darker interpretation of the lyrics is closely related to events in Digga’s own life.

Woah.

Sometime in 2008 a new version of the song surfaced, with plusher production, a key change and running a touch longer:

It was only a matter of time before remixes started hitting the netz. This one makes it a bit faster:

This one makes it faster still:

This one tools it up for “the clubs”:

And this one adds what the original most obviously lacked – a big bloody donk:

I wonder what Digga thought as he witnessed so many people fiddling with his track, bearing in mind he quite possibly hadn’t made a penny out of it yet.

Likewise with the cover versions that started to hit YouTube – there are loads of them, and while they vary in quality they all exist because, ultimately, people love the song.

This one’s very good, despite (or because of) being recorded in a hotel bathroom:

This one’s quite good:

And this one isn’t any good at all:

Then there are the “remixes” featuring big names – in other words, the original with a guest rap tacked on here and there.

Here’s one with a bit of Lil Wayne purloined from somewhere:

DJ Ironik manages to trash this version – but it did actually appear on his own album, so perhaps Digga made a few quid out of it:

While Tinchy Stryder is slightly more bearable on this rendition – another official remix:

Tinchy’s rap appears over the NEW new version of the song, which is where this interesting little tale ends. Sleek, effective and with none of the swears or references to “smoking weed” that appeared in the original, it also has a polished video – the result of it being released, finally, as a proper single (through US label Asylum, a subsidiary of Warner Music no less – release date TBC, but probably around the end of November) under the artist name McLean:

If just a fraction of the people who have loved this song on the internet pay to download it, it will be massive. Similarly, since he’s now recording an album with big-name producers, it’s pretty hard to see how McLean, Digga, or whatever he chooses to call himself, can fail.

For a bonus, here he is doing an acoustic version for the Beeb – you might be surprised at his speaking voice:

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