Stuart Waterman

“TEETH PAIN” MORE LIKE, LOL

Well, this was fun. Have a go at Michael Jackson’s fans’ tendency to leave lunatic comments on blogs, and what do you think you get?

“This is the place to slate The Script’s aural boregasms, and the fact they’re helping to usher in a depressingly cynical new age of music video.”

When I interviewed at Shiny Media I was asked what my favourite Shiny Media blog was. I said Hecklerspray, having seen it on the sidebar of all the Shiny sites. As my boss let me know on several occasions over the next couple of years, Hecklerspray was never technically a Shiny Media site and the answer I gave was therefore Quite Wrong.

A hilarious story. Anyway, now I’m going to be writing the odd thing for Hecklerspray. My first thing went up recently and it was all about singer Jason Mraz’s rather odd Valentine’s Day wishes for his fans.

“I decided to investigate whether Jay Sean’s tactics – and more importantly his lyrics – would work out there in the real world. I approached ladies in various settings and scenarios to give Tonight’s lyrics the best chance of success.”

In a thrilling development, the ladies from amazing LOLworthy music site The Lipster asked if I’d like to write the odd thing for them.

My first post was a detailed account of my attempt to use all the web tools at my disposal to find the missing pretty lady from Tinchy Stryder’s “Take Me Back”.
Read it here.

I was honoured to be the first man to be allowed to write for Cate Sevilla’s marvellous women’s site, Bitchbuzz. Even better, I was allowed to be as chauvinistic as I wanted. Bless.

Here’s my post, teaching ladies how to cry prettier.

“The problem is that despite the lyrical positivity of the song – girls in bikinis, blokes with their tops off, light evenings, etc – Remi sounds like she is in a bit of a strop.”

“The chorus is so pleasingly lovelorn you almost believe poor Candy is in actual emotional pain, so that’s nice.”

“The rhyming scheme is very much of the ‘pie / high / sky’ variety, but this isn’t the ruddy Eisteddfod so let’s all move along.”